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Friday, February 8, 2013

My Accident and Miracle--The Final Part


My Accident and Miracle


Part 6. . . My Final Thoughts


 There are a couple of key things I failed to mention about my March 6th experience.  These are things that kind of happened in the aftermath of it all--or for some things, I didn't realize until after it was all over.

First, I learned that just because a miracle happens to us, it doesn't mean that we are exempt from some hardship, including hardship that is connected with the miraculous event.  In fact, the miracle itself is often a result of never-ending faith, hope, and constant prayer . . . like the one I said in my heart over and over again until the day my sweet Baby Girl was born.  Miracles take hard work to happen.



And even after the miracle has happened, things don't automatically become peachy-perfect for us.  But it is that miracle that sometimes helps us keep that faith going.  I learned this firsthand.  After the accident, when dust had cleared and the excitement calmed down, I found that I had a lot of fear leftover.  Somehow the invincibility of youth that I had felt before was gone.  I came so close to dying, and my brain kept telling me that it could easily happen again--anytime, any place.  I had a lot of mental and emotional hills to climb. 


One emotional hill I still climb even today is that I found out that I would no longer be able to have children after this accident.  I love kids and love being a mom.  And sometimes still, the emptiness of this reality consumes me.  Even though I know I am so blessed with my beauties and I adore them, my heart still aches for what might have been.  Only through the peace that the Lord can give does this go away.  But it’s an on-going process.


Also, my worries increased ten-fold.  There were no clear answers about my baby girl for the rest of my pregnancy, so I drained myself with worries for what the Lord may have in store for me when she was born.  I clung to that hope that if He had helped me stay alive through a horrible accident, then He would be with me through the rest of the pregnancy and birth.  I knew now that our lives were completely in His hands.  


Not only that, but My Man easily got behind in his school work.  He was in his hardest year of med school and had the most important test of his medical school career scheduled for 3 days before our Baby Girl was to be born (and this test ended up not going well at all due to the stress and worries that were so tangled in our daily lives at that time).  It was an extremely stressful period for us.


And yet, I still remember that glorious feeling that came over me the moment my Baby Girl was finally born in June of 2007.  A beautiful, tiny baby.  Only 5 pounds, but with all her fingers and all her toes.  Just like my other babies, she was perfect to me.  I had truly been blessed.  Another miracle had occurred.  I named her after my Grandma who had died only 3 months before my accident.  I often felt she was one of my guardian angels through it all.


My baby's life is a testimony that God is gracious.
















The hardest thing though ended up being the post-traumatic stress that Little son went through.  I was very consumed with my pregnancy and the many worries of the time that I didn't realize until later how much Little Son was suffering with what he witnessed.  Yes, I knew he was scared from only being centimeters away from being hit by the van and seeing me fly off a bridge.  But the impact of it remained for more than a year.  I found that he couldn't verbalize or come to terms the fear that he had experienced. 



 I spent many months, even after Baby Girl was born, dealing with his extreme tantrums, nightmares every night, bed-wetting, sadness and low self-esteem.  Little Son was afraid of the sound of loud cars revving their engines.  Parking lots were horrible for him.  He became very clingy to me and yet angry at all of us.  My little boy was unhappy all the time.  In his mind, the world was no longer safe.  It took many prayers, priesthood blessings, and then a lot of hard work on my part to help him heal.  I had to be more patient with him then I had at any other time in my life.  I had to constantly show him pure love and remind him of the safe and happy things in the world.  



This process took me 2 years.  By the time Little Son was 5 years old, he had finally forgotten the accident completely and he was happy again.  Another miracle.

I have often reminded my Little Son of the important role he played in our family's miracle.  I realized soon after the accident that my little boy had played a key part in keeping us safe that day.  On Monday, March 5, 2007 (the very day before the accident), I had an unusual happening with him:


 It was early in the morning and I had Little Son with me as I was taking Sweet Tween to school.  We dropped her off and then drove out of the elementary school parking lot.  We drove right over the bridge (where little did I know I would be hit the next day), and as we did Little Son said in a firm voice, "Mom, STOP! We need to say a prayer!"  I was totally surprised, but I didn't want to discourage his strong desire to pray, so I told him I would stop at the upcoming stop sign and he could pray then.  I had no idea what he wanted to pray about, but I was happy to see this little glimpse of his faith.  So a few seconds later, I stopped at the 3-way stop and he prayed.  This is what he said in his tiny 3 year-old voice:  


"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless me and Mommy to be safe.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."  



And that was it.  Simple and sweet.  We feel that his prayer protected us the next day.  I think the Spirit prompted him and he was in-tune enough on that busy Monday morning to listen to the feelings he had.  Little Son has strong faith in the Lord and he wasn't afraid to pray.  How I love my little boy, and the example he has shown me.



Well, anyhow . . . it's all over now.  I believe each of us has healed and is living life normally now.  We look back on this whole experience with humble hearts and we remember how God did not forget us that day.  This experience changed me in so many ways.  May I always remember these lessons I have learned:



Each Day Is A Gift

Our Moments Together Are Precious

  
Goodness Still Exists In This World

and


My Accident and Miracle Part 1

My Accident and Miracle Part 2

My Accident and Miracle Part 3

My Accident and Miracle Part 4

My Accident and Miracle Part 5


6 comments:

  1. I can't believe I finally got to finish reading the whole thing! I had read a good portion of your story, but the kids would always pull me away & then I would forget about it for a while. That is truly a miracle! I'm so glad that Heavenly Father allowed for the 3 of you to live & for all of those little miracles & hidden blessings that happened along the way! I can't stop thinking about Little Son's prayer the day before... That was definitely divine guidance (:

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    1. Thanks Marissa! Since then I have truly tried to recognize the little miracles because I believe they matter just as much.

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  2. Lisa, what an amazing story! I love how you so vulnerably shared your heart on these posts. What an awesome example of faith and miracles today! I also really love how you added that not everyone gets their "miracle" at least not in the form that we so easily recognize. Grief and joy. Happiness and sorrow. Thank you!

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  3. I was on your site today and somehow came across your story! I had no idea this had happened to you Lisa! Thank you for sharing this because it reminded me of how important my life is. I also empathized when you talked about your son and how long it took him to heal. My 5 year old was in our van when my (then 4yrold) drove it through the garage door and shattered the windshield. She was so traumatized and has since had some of the same issues. Sometimes I take for granted ho easily I get over things but how much harder my kids take them. It's an honor getting to know you Lisa and I'm so glad your life and your baby's life were saved! The Lord obviously knew you still had a great work to do on this earth!

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    1. Thanks Katie! What a scary thing for your son. It's hard to know what kids are thinking and feeling, but with time (and help from God), I believe they can get better. Thanks for visiting!

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